The month of September is over. Usually September is my favorite month. In the States the weather of September is beautiful. The heat of the Summer is starting to give way to Fall. Football is in full swing! And come on, being a Southerner means you live for the weekends and Football! September is also a big birthday month for us. My birthday and my son's birthday fall at the end of the month- back to back. We alway celebrate big on that weekend.
This year September was different. God decided that He had some difficult lessons to teach us this year. He decided to strip us of everything we thought we knew, everything we thought we wanted, everything that was solid and sure in our lives and start us over again.
The month of September has been very painful. But through it all God has been my strength and my shield. He has been my rock when my world was sinking. He has been my firm foundation when the waters swept away my stability. He has shown me that I can't rely on my strength. His strength is what I need to get through each and every day.
Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation..- Isaiah 12:2
Therefore let everyone who is godly offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; surely in the rush of great waters, they shall not reach him. You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.- Psalm 32:6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your path straight.- Proverbs 3:5-6
Sometimes we go about life thinking we've got things figured out. We think we know what God wants from us. Serving and living on the mission field is no different. When we came back from furlough things just went on like before. We prayed for God to give us direction and then we proceeded to head in the direction we felt the Lord leading. Sometimes God's ways are different than our ways. His thoughts are different than our thoughts. Sometimes He tells us this in a soft whisper. Sometimes He yells it, But when the Lord talks then we know to listen!
God told us to move away from Rainbow. There was no question about it. It was the most painful thing we have ever been through in our entire life. We were caught completely by surprise and had no idea. We still struggle with the "why's" of our move. Our world was Rainbow. Our kids were settled into their life there. Their friends and support system was the Rainbow community. The major part of our work here in Malawi revolved around Rainbow. It was home. It was family. It was our life. It was stability in an unstable world. God decided to move us away. He told us in no uncertain terms that our time there was over much quicker than we ever dreamed. The grieving process that we went through this month can only be compared to that of someone grieving after death. We were lost. We couldn't function. I'd wake up at night crying. There were panic attacks. Seriously, it's harder than anything we've ever gone through. We were essentially homeless in a 3rd world country with 4 kids under the age of 12. Our entire life had just been turned upside down on a moment's notice. God told us to sell everything. What we didn't sell we gave away. This was God's way. It was His will. We were only to obey.
But through it all God's strength was what got us through. His hand reached down to comfort us and dry our tears. His arm embraced us in a hug that soothed our scared minds. When I couldn't think for myself he sent angels in the form of girlfriends who gave me verses to read and pray over.
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints, according to the will of God. - Romans 8: 26-27
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anythings else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.- Romans 8: 35-39
Dependency. This is one of the main lessons that God has taught me since we began our service in Malawi. Dependency. There are times that dependency is bad. There are ways to be unhealthily dependent. We see this very much in the culture that we live in. The culture that I come from prides itself on being independent. We see dependency as a weakness. And you know, it is. Sometimes that weakness is harmful. But sometimes, it's exactly the kind of weakness Christ desires.
Through the past few years I have grown more dependent (weaker, if you will). But in my weakness He is strong. Christ has also taught me to become MORE dependent! ON HIM! Never before have I literally needed Christ in order to function. Never before have I cried out to him for food, for water, for shelter, for the very air I breathe. Never before have I been laid out on the ground crying out to Him for strength. Never have I been sent to my knees more. He has brought us to a place of total and complete dependence on Him and that is exactly where He has always wanted us.
Trust. Yes, this is another huge lesson that is very difficult to learn. Trust.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. - Proverbs 3: 5-6
I know I already quoted this verse in this post. But there is power in the Word. And this verse is full of power. We have learned to trust God even when we don't see the path. Even when it's night and we're lost, we trust Him to get us home. He is faithful. He never leaves us lost. He always comes to us and searches for us. He is so very faithful. But in order to show His faithfulness we have to trust. In order to trust that means we have to be in a place where we are lost, confused, or scared. That's where God has us right now. It's a painful and yet beautiful place to be. Our faith has been tested and we are more firm and more sure and more solid in our foundation now than we have EVER been before. He is growing us. Teaching us. Showing us His way in His timing. We only have to wait, and trust!
Wait for the Lord, be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.- Psalm 27:14
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.- Isaiah 40: 31
The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks Him.- Lamentations 3: 24-25
Realize this, God knows you. Every single little part of you. He knows the number of hairs on your head! He knows when you are sad, depressed, hurt, lonely. He knows your needs, your wants, and your desires. He is there to bless, to heal, to guide, and to love. Always! He is a constant. NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.- Psalm 16:11
O Lord you have searched me and know me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. -Psalm 139
So that's where we are. We are waiting on the Lord. We have been through a huge fire and we have come out stronger in our faith, stronger in our marriage, stronger in our family. We don't know what tomorrow holds. But we do know WHO holds tomorrow! Our faith is in Christ alone and when He shows us His path we will follow. We are stripped down. Bare. We have had all we know and all we held dear taken away but it was for His glory and His good. Now we wait for what is next.
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn mod my salvation, my stronghold.- Psalm 18:2
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.- Psalm 4: 8
Since we have such a hope, we are very bold.- 2 Cor 3:12
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If nay of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.- James 1:2-5
We seek wisdom, Lord. We seek your path. We seek to glorify you in our actions, words, and thoughts. May our life be lived for you and you alone. We look forward to what October will bring.
